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Fic: Crescendos (1/25)


Word Count: ~2350

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Kurt and Blaine's semester apart began with Kurt getting on a plane and ends with "Poophead missed you." Now find out what happens in between. This is the story of the sadness, the shenanigans, the jubilation, the tears, the flash drive, the gambling, the croissants, the sit-ups, the emails, the drinking and the Matt-ness of it all. Sequel to Interludes & Overtures.

Author's Note: Well, here we are again. Like it says up there, this is chapter one out of twenty-five. I plan on posting on a very regular schedule, four times a week. Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday. So prepare yourself for Crescendos inundation!! 

As always, everything I know about stuttering and speech therapy I learned on the internet. Try not to flay me alive for inaccuracies.


And thanks to my betas! orangetulip and preciousmellow for listening to me and making me feel wanted and levelheaded, even when I annoy the bejesus out of them. :)



132 days earlier...

Kurt’s not sure what his emotions are doing as he boards the plane. Is he sad? Happy? Excited? Anxious? Annoyed at the person that keeps jostling him with their loudly printed Vera Bradley carry on bag? (Since when does Vera do neons? Neons aren’t preppy.)

Kurt always believed he was fairly in touch with his emotions, mostly self aware, but today, today he has no idea what’s going on with his mood. He’s on an emotional roller coaster. When he was sitting in the airport texting Blaine he was on the verge of sobbing, loudly, in a very public place. (Which is what he was trying so hard to avoid by saying goodbye to Blaine in his bedroom.) But now that he’s taken his tiny seat on this transatlantic flight to a city he’s dreamed about visiting since he was 8, he’s bouncing with pent up excitement.

After the plane is in the air and the fasten seatbelt light is off and Kurt has gotten a cup of coffee from the flight attendant, he fishes the note from Blaine out of his pocket. He weighs it in his hand the way he did with the other note Blaine had given him in the piano room, the note that he has stuck deep inside his carry on bag because sometimes he needs to read it. Kurt has actually started to habitually read that note from Blaine on a weekly basis. He feels almost nostalgic for that Blaine sometimes, the one who couldn’t quite hold eye contact long enough to even smile at Kurt.

But now he has a different Blaine, a more vibrant Blaine. A more confident, happier, Blaine. And Kurt loves the Blaine he has today more than he could have ever guessed when he read that note so many months ago. Blaine never fails to surprise Kurt. Sometimes Kurt can’t believe how often he underestimates Blaine.

Way back when, he assumed that he would have to make all the moves, although somehow Blaine ended up initiating their first date by inviting Kurt to watch him sing First Day of My Life at open mic night. And then Kurt started to take the bull by the horns and set up a “real” date and Blaine again, shocked him on top of a ferris wheel with the world’s most perfect first kiss.

Time and again, Blaine reveals himself to be one of the most brave and inspiring and amazing people Kurt has ever met. Leaving him for this amount of time makes Kurt’s heart ache. It brings a lot of his own insecurities to the surface. But conversely Blaine didn’t seem the least apprehensive about Kurt’s absence. He seemed sad at the prospect, but he was always talking about having time to be Blaine and to work hard and to get better. Blaine saw opportunity where Kurt only saw loneliness.

Rachel has said to him multiple times that Blaine and Kurt’s relationship dynamic is admirable, that they have something that so many couples strive for but few ever succeed at.

“You balance each other effortlessly,” he remembers the first time Rachel said this. It was the night of the directions debacle. The first time he and Blaine had cried in front of each other, the first time Kurt finally understood what Blaine was up against on a regular basis.

After Blaine had gone home, well after midnight, he and Rachel had a heart to heart.

Kurt told Rachel the whole story from beginning to end. He was so upset that night, he was so frustrated and powerless against the cruel world. At the time it just seemed like Blaine was taking everything lying down. But now, several months after the incident, Kurt has a better grasp on the situation. Blaine doesn’t exhaust himself trying to improve things he can’t change. Blaine exhausts himself trying to improve himself.

Kurt couldn’t quite bring himself to admit to Rachel that he wasn’t entirely sure he would have been patient with Blaine or given him a chance if they had met more conventionally. But he did tell her how he felt he was too invested already, how he felt so much and it almost didn’t seem fair to pin so many emotions on Blaine. She smiled and nodded and held his hand.

“Kurt,” she had said in her least condescending voice. “I think you might already be a little bit in love with him.”

He had scoffed at the idea then, but within a month he knew she was right. Blaine had swiftly and deftly stolen his heart.

Which brings Kurt to this moment, sitting on a plane, however many feet above the Atlantic, holding a letter from Blaine. He looks out the window, he sips his coffee. He’s putting off opening the note a little bit, because he knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that any note from Blaine contains wonders he can never fathom. And he wants to hold onto the unknown a little longer.

His curiosity gets the better of him 30 seconds later.

He unfolds the note.

~~~~~

To my favorite fella,

I miss your face already, even though I’m currently looking at your face while you sleep. (Is that creepy? I don’t mean for it to be creepy.) I woke up and it’s the middle of the night and I had all of these things I wanted to tell you, so I figured I’d better start writing.

First of all, thank you. I don’t think I tell you enough how much I appreciate you and everything you do for me. I mean it sincerely and you leaving is a good time to say it. Here is a brief list of what I’m thanking you for:


  1. Loving me
  2. Your endless patience
  3. Listening to me
  4. Being my fella
  5. Understanding me enough to come up with the idea to call each other fella
  6. Grooming me

I could go on, but I think that’s enough for now. (Don’t need you getting a big head.)

I know I mentioned this to you about a million times, but I know we’re going to be fine, in fact we’re going to be better than fine. Who cares about 132 days when we’re going to be Kurt and Blaine for 132 years? (And by 132 years I really mean forever.) I know maybe it’s early in our relationship to talk like that, but that’s how I feel at 2:46 am on January 14th, 2015.

No matter how much we’ll miss each other over the next 132 days, that’s hardly a drop in the bucket of a lifetime that we could potentially spend together.

And I think I need this time to prepare myself for that life with you. I love you and I have more confidence in our relationship and the way I feel about you than I’ve ever had about anything in my life. Which doesn’t really say that much I guess, seeing as how confidence isn’t exactly my forte, but take it for what it is.

This letter is going to go to the pathetic and weepy place soon and I don’t want my whimpering to wake you up, so I better just get down to business.

Here’s the deal with the flash drive. There are 20 folders on there; you’ll be gone for 19 weeks. I shall reveal one password each week, probably emailing it to you every Sunday night. Today I’ll tell you the password for the first folder: blainers.  (not all of them are going to be this obvious, so don’t even try to crack them.)

The first folder is special and I’ll get to that in a second. Or at least, I think it’s special, I hope you think it’s special too. The rest of the 19 have a text file in each one that you should read first before opening the audio or video file because it sort of explains things a little better. Also, I kind of feel like I need to remind you that I gave this drive to you almost a month ago, so things might seem a little behind the times in some ways. I’m not sure if there really needed to be a disclaimer for that and I can’t think of anything specific that might be off, but I guess it was worth mentioning. Oh! Like you didn’t call me Poophead back then. That’s a good example.

Why am I still rambling about this?

In any event.

In the first folder you will find a rather large audio file. It’s me reading the entirety of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. It’s all explained in the text file that goes with the audio. But I figure that this way, you’ll have hours and hours of my voice, because no matter how much I want to talk to you while you’re away, I honestly don’t know if I’m always going to be able to. You’re well aware that I have my good days and my bad days speech wise, and I’m hoping that’ll start to even out eventually, but it hasn’t yet. You might have to bear with me while I get more comfortable talking on the phone.

But I promise to call you and I think we should try Skyping. It might work well for me. But I’ll tell you when I’m ready. And I’ll call you as soon as I can. Actually, I’ll probably end up sending you a bajillion emails and then wimp out like 3 times and then finally send you a message like “You have to call ME, I’m too scared!” And then you’ll have a tone of fond exasperation in your voice and I’ll remember how much I love you and all will be right with the world.

Anyway, I’ll miss you a lot. And I can’t wait for you to come home, even though at the moment you haven’t even left yet. I’m going to go cuddle your face off while I still have the option.

Poophead out.

Love always,
Blaine

~~~~~

Kurt refolds the letter and smiles. He’s one lucky fella.

Kurt knows that when Blaine is around him he’s happy and confident. But Blaine does even more for Kurt. He’s taught him how to love unconditionally, how to listen, how to accept people. Blaine has taught Kurt that some things are worth waiting for and that putting yourself out there garners results. Kurt wishes he could be more like Blaine most of the time.

Blaine has got to be the most thoughtful person he’s ever met. When he created those fonts for Kurt for Christmas, Kurt was touched and happy and surprised. And when Kurt noticed all the other files on that flash drive, he was intrigued and excited. If those fonts were any indication, he knew Blaine had a lot more in store for him.

And now, Harry Potter read by Blaine? Kurt had already been dreading the nights where he can’t fall asleep because he misses Blaine’s arms around him and his sweet whisper in Kurt’s ear. But now he has the promise of Blaine’s voice reading one of his favorite books. Who does that? Who comes up with ideas like that? It’s beautiful, it’s miraculous in some ways because Blaine is always so hesitant about reading out loud.

Every time Kurt asks him to read from a recipe or instructions or anything, Blaine always hesitates. The situation doesn’t come up very often, but when it does, Blaine always warns Kurt before he starts. “Just gimme a minute, OK?” Kurt can hear Blaine’s timid voice. As if Kurt would ever interrupt him or laugh or hurt his feelings if his speech isn’t perfect. That’s how much Blaine hates reading aloud.

And then Blaine, his Blaine, his ridiculously shy but incredibly thoughtful Blaine, figures out to way to give Kurt 8 and half hours of his voice. Kurt wills himself not to cry.

Kurt spends the rest of his flight dozing and flipping through magazines and daydreaming about seeing his poophead in 132 days.

When his flight lands, Kurt collects his bags and makes his way to find a cab in the wee hours of the morning. He’d exchanged some money already, so he was prepared. He gave the address of the Chambre de Bonne where he’d be staying. It’s a walk up building with small studio apartments. NYU study abroad office had set up the arrangements. Kurt was awfully happy not to have to share a room with anyone. He’s not a good room sharer. Well, he assumes he’s not a good room sharer, seeing as how he’s never shared a room.

He’s bleary eyed from travelling, but he’s taking everything in as the cab flies through sparsely populated streets. At this hour, the city is quiet but not barren by any means. Flying in at 3 am gives Kurt an opportunity to see a much different Paris.

When he arrives at his new studio apartment, he hauls his two suitcases, laptop bag and carry on bag up the stairs. When he enters the door (the key having been shipped to him just days prior) he’s astonished by the sheer tininess.  

There’s a narrow bed, a sink, a glorified hotplate and a bureau. He opens a door in the room, assuming it’s a closet and finds the world’s weirdest, tiniest shower inside. It turns out he’ll be sharing a public bathroom, but at least he has a shower to himself.

He sits on his bed, checks his watch, which he’s already changed to Paris time. He does some quick calculations and realizes that if it’s 3:30 am here, it’s 9:30 pm back home. He should attempt to get in touch with his dad at least, to let him know he’s safe. He’s awfully happy that he took care of setting up an international calling plan before he left.

After their brief conversation, he opens his laptop, excited to find that he has internet access. Truth be told, he’s not sure if he’s stealing wifi or not right now, but he doesn’t care.

He’s not surprised to see several new emails already.


Next




Comments

( 65 comments — Leave a comment )
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bethynyc
Jul. 7th, 2012 02:04 pm (UTC)
I got the notification in my email and EEEEEEEE!!! Made me so happy! This is a wonderful start and I'm looking forward to reading all about this semester!

Thank you so much!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 04:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad it made you happy. :)
scifigeek14
Jul. 7th, 2012 02:28 pm (UTC)
Yes! It is finally here! I am so excited! I kept shamelessly promoting the first two to all my friends and now the third is finally here to not shut up about too. haha. I'm not sure I'm emotionally ready for this one, however... I can't wait for more! ^_^ I have faith in Kurt and Blainers! And reading a whole novel!? wow! go poophead! that is just awesome. :D.
ps. I had to rewrite this a lot so I didn't use the word "been"... no B word's for Blainers. yep, that is totally my new slogan... It's a thing. ;)
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 04:50 pm (UTC)
Blaine more than appreciates your solidarity. Thanks for all your promoting!!
jewelianna
Jul. 7th, 2012 02:31 pm (UTC)
<3 What a great way to start the weekend.
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 04:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading!
ariss13
Jul. 7th, 2012 02:34 pm (UTC)
weeeeeeeeee.:)

At last. I check your LJ almost everyday whether you updated this series..but in Blaine's voice,("Is that creepy? I don’t mean for it to be creepy.)"

I just love the first chapter..can't wait to find out more about the rest of 19 folders and when they meet again.
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 04:53 pm (UTC)
Definitely *not* creepy. I do the same thing with fics. :)

Thanks for reading!
shighola
Jul. 7th, 2012 02:51 pm (UTC)
YEEEESSSSSS!!!!
*pumps fists*

I'm so happy this is beginning. Blaine really is the most thoughtful boyfriend ever. And I'm lol'ing at Kurt's ridiculous little studio apartment. I know his pain. Oh Europe, you silly.
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 04:54 pm (UTC)
I haven't been to Europe but I modeled Kurt's little apartment after one of my friend's descriptions of where they stayed, so I'm glad it seems realistic.

Thanks for reading!
canuckpagali
Jul. 7th, 2012 03:02 pm (UTC)
I am ridiculously happy that the fellas are back. Yay!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 04:54 pm (UTC)
yay! Thanks!
luckie_dee
Jul. 7th, 2012 03:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, Blaine recording HP for him is perfect for so many reasons. <3 And his letter made me all shmoopy. Well done, Blainers.

Glad your hiatus is over, m'dear. :) Looking forward to seeing what else is on that flash drive!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 04:56 pm (UTC)
He's a good boy, my Blainers. I'm glad my hiatus is over too. I am a whore for comments and have missed them greatly. :)

Thanks for reading!!
wiscogleek
Jul. 7th, 2012 03:25 pm (UTC)
Whooop!
Fellas! Yay. :) I loves them and am so glad to see them back! I've been dying to know what's on that zip drive.
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 04:58 pm (UTC)
Re: Whooop!
Thank you!
apleby_arrow
Jul. 7th, 2012 03:30 pm (UTC)
Yaaaay, new story in this verse ! I wasn't expecting it at all when I went on K_B but I'm so happy ! Kurt and Blaine are adorable as always and the letter was so heartfelt. Can't wait for more !
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 04:58 pm (UTC)
I'm glad I could surprised you then! Thanks for reading.
cherucaustic
Jul. 7th, 2012 03:41 pm (UTC)
This brightened up a horrid weekend. So happy to wake up to this and Blaine is as always too adorable for words<3
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 04:59 pm (UTC)
Aw, I'm glad I could brighten up your weekend. Thanks for reading!
mailroomorder
Jul. 7th, 2012 03:45 pm (UTC)
1. The Summary. The summary includes Matt and his Matt-ness. Matt-ness is my favorite. 2 points for you for including Matt in the summary, because it immediately allayed my fears of minimal Matt-ness in Crescendos.
2. OH MY GOD I AM ACTUALLY READING CRESCENDOS!
3. Blaine being Blaine and writing the cutest little letter to Kurt. In love. With Blaine. And everything he does. So cute.
4. I am so excited to learn what is in these folders and see everything pan out!!!! Super excited for the next update so I can see these emails!!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:00 pm (UTC)
You know, I'm not sure if Matt's in this one more than the other two or not, but his presence seems more important in this one. I think because Blaine needs him more. As always, delightful comment!
sullyvann
Jul. 7th, 2012 04:05 pm (UTC)
efvefjnnjei it's back! yay!!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:00 pm (UTC)
It is indeed! Thanks for reading!
notsomediumdrip
Jul. 7th, 2012 04:13 pm (UTC)
This just made my day. You know I adore this verse, and I missed it this last month! Great start, and I'm excited for more!!!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
tooastranger
Jul. 7th, 2012 04:37 pm (UTC)
o(^▽^)o YAY OMG *HAPPY BOUNCING* this might be the best thing to happen to me all week. I am so happy you've started posting. This chapter was wonderful!! Blaine's list of things to be thankful fo was adorable *deep sighs*
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:02 pm (UTC)
I was happy bouncing to post, so I understand. Thanks for reading!
spikesgurl
Jul. 7th, 2012 05:39 pm (UTC)
Yay, I'm so excited that this is starting!!!!!!! And FOUR chapter a week?? You are awesome :)

And Kurt loves the Blaine he has today more than he could have ever guessed when he read that note so many months ago.

For some reason I just really loved this line. I loved the comparison between the two notes, knowing that so much has happened since then.

Thanks so much for giving us these amazing versions of our boys. I look forward to their continued journey :)
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:08 pm (UTC)
I like setting up those comparisons and showing that Kurt really sees and appreciates and loves the differences and changes in Blaine.

Thanks for reading!
thimbles71
Jul. 7th, 2012 05:43 pm (UTC)
Delighted to see the story continuing!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
nemari
Jul. 7th, 2012 05:56 pm (UTC)
Is it super cheesey that I actually clapped my hands and giggled when I saw the new story was up in my email???? I'am absolutely in LOVE with your Kurt and Blaine and I'am so happy that they are back. What an amazing start, Blaine is the sweetest thing to ever walk this earth I do believe. Wonderful job! So glad they are back :)
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:09 pm (UTC)
You're asking the wrong person, because I clapped my hands and giggled at the thought of you clapping your hands and giggling. So. There's that.

Thank you!
dasola27
Jul. 7th, 2012 06:09 pm (UTC)
So, do you remember the snow dance from college? I'm pretty sure it consisted of flopping back and forth on one's extra long twin bed whilst watching James Gregorio and hoping that it would snow enough for classes to be cancelled. Well that's what I'm doing today, only I'm pretty sure it's not going to snow in this 99 freaking degree weather. But it's ok, I will just hide inside in the A/C all day long and watch your comment count rise. :) YOUR FIC MAKES PEOPLE HAPPY!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:10 pm (UTC)
It's not gonna snow dude. I hate to break it to you. (call me if you want more chapters, I'm in the middle of writing ch 20 and I plan to finish it this afternoon.)
xxxraquelita
Jul. 7th, 2012 06:21 pm (UTC)
YES YES YES OMG THAT LETTER BLAAAAAINE ♥

I cannot wait for more and are you kidding me with four updates a week I am pretty sure I'm going to die.
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:12 pm (UTC)
YAY! Not that I'm killing you, but that you can't wait for more. Thanks for reading!
thatsingingchic
Jul. 7th, 2012 07:16 pm (UTC)
Yaaaaayyyyyy!!!!! I'm so happy it's back! I simply love these fics.
Now, I have a silent reader for the last two, but after re-reading them a few weeks ago, I decided I would be a good reader and review.
These are the most adorable stories, and while I'm glad Crescendos is out (and being updating 4 times a week!!! =D), I'm sad that Klaine is going to be apart for 132 days. Although, Blaine's adorableness (which will be compacted in the flash drive, for sure), should very well compensate for that. For me and Kurt both. =D
I will be anxiously awaiting for the next chapter (which will be, what, tommorow? Dude, that's awesome.)!!!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:14 pm (UTC)
I love that you're pledging to be a good reader. That makes me smile. :D

Thank you!!
echoing_seas
Jul. 7th, 2012 08:37 pm (UTC)
I'm so excited that you're posting this!!!!! :)

I *loved* Blaine's letter to Kurt (especially how he's sure he and Kurt will be together forever), and having him read HP to Kurt was a sweet addition, too!

And the password was great - I can't wait to see what else he's done for Kurt (and find out what the passwords are). :D
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Blaine's got more up his sleeve where the book and the password came from. :)
mugglegato
Jul. 7th, 2012 09:03 pm (UTC)
Can I just say I haven't read this yet but I actually squealed when I realized what it was. I'm off to read now. :D

Ok I'm back. :)

I can't express how happy I am at this. It's a wonderful start, I love the idea of the files being opened weekly. I can't wait to see what they hold. The Harry Potter audio is genius. I'm sure he will just listen to it for Blaine's voice, not the story. Yay! <3

Edited at 2012-07-07 09:25 pm (UTC)
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:20 pm (UTC)
BAHAHA! I love that you stopped to comment before you read. Thank you!!!
awpoophead
Jul. 7th, 2012 09:41 pm (UTC)
MOTHER OF PEARL
Dear Sandy. I love and admire you. I wanted to say that politely before I burst in fangirling like a lunatic.
I can't Belive you brought up the letter again. And I can't believe Kurt carries it with him. I might be making a dying whale sounds again. It might be your fault.
I am absolutely in love with your description of Blaine. Especially after my re-reading. And their kiss really was perfect. I recall squeaking out loud while reading it and calling my friends yelling "argh they finally kissed senD HELP". Because it was perfect. Like everything you write [which shouldn't be possible but it's a proven fact].
"Blaine saw opportunity where Kurt saw loneliness". I want to copy + paste every beautiful line you write but that would be just silly if I post the whole chapter in a comment. So I'll settle for that one.
FELLA
Oh my god. He stared at Kurt while he was sleeping. That should be creepy. So creepy. Only that it's adorable and romantic and excuse me while I'll cry myself into a puddle of feelings [which will be safely kept in our jar, do not worry].
SECOND FELLA
THIRD FELLA
Grooming me - AKA first heehee for Crescendos. Well done.
I must copy + paste that one. I know I said that I wouldn't but please. My emotions overcome me. "I love you and I have more confidence in our relationship and the way I feel about you than I’ve ever had about anything in my life. Which doesn’t really say that much I guess, seeing as how confidence isn’t exactly my forte, but take it for what it is." Damm. You'll never fail giving me the Blaine feelings. Sigh.
Wow. Blainers. You did not.
FIRST POOPHEAD HURRAH
Wow. Blaine's reading Harry Potter. I really didn't think that it was possible for me to love you EVEN MORE.
SECOND POOPHEAD BLESS YOUR EXISTANCE
FOURTH FELLA
You used miraculous. Remember when I said your writing is miraculous? Because it is. So eff word much.
THIRD POOPHEAD WHAT IS LIFE
Thank you for emotionally destroying me. It was a pleasure. <3
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:25 pm (UTC)
Re: MOTHER OF PEARL
That last line just screams "stockholm syndrome." Fantastic comment, A++++++

Thanks for reading!
dareu2beme
Jul. 7th, 2012 09:48 pm (UTC)
my heaaaart.


GOSH, I was so excited when I saw this appear on my friends list! And then reading it.. ooooh... my heart. This was glorious. GOSH, I want a Blaine. Blaine is so sweet.. so freaking sweet.. and he and Kurt are so perfect and I just love all of this.. and AHHHH... I'm so happy this is up!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:26 pm (UTC)
Aw, thank you!!!
openingup2joy
Jul. 8th, 2012 02:45 am (UTC)
This has been so worth the wait. (not that you didn't deserve a little break, I'm just saying this was worth waiting for, get it?) Yeah. lost my ability to be coherent. That's how good it is. Poophead out. ha!
shandyall
Jul. 8th, 2012 05:26 pm (UTC)
(I totally get it.) Thank you!
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